Parents Unite

Today is the first post and I gotta tell ya, it's a long time coming. This is for all those #parents out there struggling. Well it's for everyone, but especially parents or caretakers!

The VID made life hard for all of us and the collective definitely took note. I was reading an article in The Atlantic (see below) and it touches on our fears and how we respond. According to the article we are out here using up all of our empathy.

As I read, I couldn't help but think about all of the empathy that I hand out as a parent. I hand out empathy to my kid, my boyfriend, my child's father, my dad, my sister, my best friends.. the list goes on. To me, burnt out on empathy doesn't begin to cover it. Personally (and hoping SOMEONE could relate), I compromise with those I love on a daily basis. The real burn out doesn't come until you are not receiving the empathy you are handing out!

It is OKAY to be sick of this kind of unbalanced give and receive cycle. I would like to stress that point. Too much of society thinks that we CAN'T or we SHOULDN'T feel a certain way. "Good parents don't want things for themselves, just their children". Well no, fuck that. I'm a person with needs, wants, desires, goals, a whole shitload of stuff that I WANT! We should be comfortable to feeling frustration and anger towards our children or towards our partners, analyze our feelings, and if they happen to be negative or dark, we should then work through it!

Honestly, I won't get into the whole "the system is a trick to keep us all oppressed and poor" situation today, but I promise to piss people off with it in the future. However, that's exactly what it is. Keep parents feeling like they don't do enough, keep kids wanting instant gratification, then that will generate a society where they will consume more material items to fill the void. But... that's the truth.

The system is not what I want to talk about though. I want to talk about how we treat each other. Why are we so quick to receive but not to give? Why are we not able to empathize with our partners, with our children, even with strangers? WHY have we become so accustom to only seeing life through our own selfish lens?

My father told me recently that he feels like he "expects too much from people". Do we believe that we have too high of standards and we need to lower them? I think it has all to do with your relationship to said person. I told him it's okay to have high standards for those we are closest to and love. We must continue to educate, care, and respect our loved ones enough so that they can be the best person they can be.

Maybe we just need to spread that love a little further. Spread it to even those we don't know as well. And it's okay to feel disappointed when people don't live up to our standards and it's okay to set standards as well. I'm a TRUE Libra in that I really do believe it's all about balancing. Everyone is aloud to feel however they want. I don't think we should invalidate feelings, but we gotta also look at our feelings, especially our SHITTY feelings and thoughts, and ask ourselves if we are being true to ourselves!

Furthermore, if in your true self you discover your shitty feelings and shitty thoughts outweigh the good feelings and good thoughts, maybe try to make it more balanced? Maybe that's why we're losing out on empathy. Maybe as a society we are trying to ask ourselves what do WE need? AND I think that's okay.

I hope some people can resonate with this. Hoping your day sucks a little less! Life is hard but let's talk about it!

Love forever,

Selina

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